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I.
five sets of two hands, fingers spread wide
my best friend lying next to me squeaks out
“never have I ever masturbated”
a chortle and a shrug between the boys as they flick down their obligatory fingers
and I can’t help but feel a twinge in my stomach as my pinky follows suit
the silence in the room is thick and grey and suddenly sliced by
“…really?”
yes really.
have you ever experienced fun?

II.
I pull away a hair caught in my scarlet lipstick
in my reflection I see my table mate from english class
behind me she blinks twice and scoffs
“who are you trying to impress?”
the bathroom door is closed behind her before I can ask
the last time she did something to impress herself.

III.
before a trip to the mall
one of my friends spends two hours
perfecting her bronzer
and choosing the perfect pair of shoes
the other rubs in dry shampoo
and is out the door in less than five minutes
they are two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen.

IV.
my father calls me beautiful through a mouthful of popcorn
as I pour a glass of milk to accompany my now third piece of leftover birthday cake
he plants a kiss on my cheek and I grin as I wipe it away.

V.
she asks me what to do to start loving herself
and I send her away to my full length mirror
and demand to only speak to her
when she’s found something to adore
the way I did with my knobby knees
and tiger-striped hips
and big square teeth
fifteen minutes go by
and she finally points to the freckles on her nose
splits into a grin
the one that makes everyone weak in the knees
and I watch the lightbulb go off above her head
as she realizes
it’s never been her job to hate her body

VI.
i tell my sister she looks cute today
and the look on her boyfriend’s face
when she blurts out “damn right I do!”
is priceless.

VII.
I used to worry that I’d never find someone who loved me at all
and now my biggest fear
is finding someone who can adore me as much as I’ve come to.

seven thoughts on self love that came to me before I got my driver’s license (llb)

(Source: fadingdreamsonivorykeys)

thelemonadestandoflife:

do you ever just hate a bad guy so much you literally yell at the screen 

“YOU LITTLE SHIT”

and then you sit back and realize

wow they’re meant to be hated they’re doing their job good, well done wow what a good bad guy to actually incite hate rather than pity and make you want to beat them for reals no backsies

and then you love that character because they’re a little shit but they’re a good character 

(Source: kepral)

http://housetohalf.tumblr.com/post/95969528577/as-a-stage-manager-i-feel-like-the-highest

housetohalf:

As a stage manager, I feel like the highest compliment you can give me is your trust.

Directors trust that I’m writing it all down, facilitating communication, coordinating the group and that once the show opens, that I will keep the show running as intended

Designers trust that I will keep them involved with the goings-on in rehearsal, that their artistic visions is upheld with every performance.

ASMs trust that I am delegating fairly, not going to overwhelm them with work, micromanage them or throw them under the bus.

Actors trust that I am advocating for their safety when they cannot, that I am preparing or overseeing the preparation of the rehearsal hall, dressing room, and stage so that they do not have to pull focus from their work to worry about a prop being tracked or a broken refrigerator in the green room.

Crew personnel and technicians trust that the paperwork and information I give them is accurate and correct, and that they will not be unfairly blamed for mistakes that are not their fault based on decisions and actions made from my paperwork.

I trust all of these different groups as well, and they all trust each other.
Trust makes good theatre happen.

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